Question Earthority!

Denial - “Global warming? Bah! Humbug! Just another excuse to make me keep my 1974 Oldsmobile in the garage!”

Anger — “Those damn greens! Can’t leave well enough alone, can they? Every time the stock market ticks up, they want to quibble about deforestation and sea level rises. Why should I care if the Ross Ice Shelf slides off of Antarctica? I sold the house in Pensacola years ago!”

Bargaining - “Alright, alright … let’s work this out. If I buy a Prius, will it shut you the hell up? Look, I just planted a mimosa in the front yard. That’s gotta be good for a degree or two, right?”

Depression - “Doomed. DOOMED! Why even bother? We had a good run, and when the aliens arrive they’ll see that we held out longer than Venus did before going under. I need a drink … a cold one.”

Acceptance - “You know, freedom has solved a lot of problems in the past. Now that I’m done denying the obvious, getting pissed off about it, trying to deal my way out of dealing with it, and having my little hissy, I’m thinking maybe we should move forward, ride this thing out. Let’s get out of the way and let the market do something about it.”