Today's questions have a common theme: the employer, physician, and mechanic are not necessarily acting consciously and intentionally to thwart the employee, patient or customer. The goal is not to accuse them but to get them to take the person seriously.

Q: I work in a dental office as an administrative assistant. I've asked my boss, the dentist, for a raise before but he said no. What I do in the office helps him a lot so I think I deserve a raise. What can I do?

A: Spell everything out in writing. Make a list of all the tasks you perform and the responsibilities you have, describing them briefly and detailing how they contribute to the well-being of the office. Make it clear why you are valuable to him. Then put a dollar value on it by providing statistics (with citations) showing what the average pay rates are for your job for the length of time you have been with this office. You can probably find that information through an Internet search. If not, call up your county dental association and ask them where to find that information. Documenting your case carefully will show the dentist that you are serious, conscientious, and rational rather than merely greedy. In other words, someone who deserves a raise.

Q: My father's doctor is very condescending to him. I go with him sometimes because he's in his 70s and a bit hard of hearing. The doctor talks to me instead of him, as if he were senile or not there, But he's not senile, he just can't hear really well. What can I do to get the doctor to treat him more seriously?

A: First of all, his hearing should be checked and a hearing aid prescribed, if appropriate. Next, give the physician a call and politely express your concerns. Tell him your father is hard of hearing but perfectly lucid and capable of understanding what he says to him. Don't sound accusatory when you say this, just indicate that you want to clear up any misunderstandings. For any visit to a physician's office, it's also a good idea to prepare ahead of time. Have your father make out a list of questions he wants answered about his medical issues or a list of his concerns. Having things in writing puts your father on the offensive, thus allowing him some control over the visit. The doctor has to respond to him, not just make pronouncements.

Q: I just moved to a new town and need to take my car to a mechanic. I'm afraid that he'll assume because I'm a woman that I'm dumb and I know nothing about cars. How can I avoid getting ripped off or treated like a dummy?

A: Alas, it's still a sexist world out there so you may have room for concern. Let's be pragmatic here. If the mechanic thinks in stereotypes, this can work to your advantage. Take along a male friend or colleague from work. He doesn't need to know anything about cars, though that would help. The mechanic will assume he does and be less likely to sell you a bill of goods. You should also ask around and get opinions about mechanics n your area; word of mouth can be helpful. In the long run, you might also want to read a book like "Auto Repair for Dummies" or "How Cars Work" so you can talk the lingo. That'll put the mechanic on notice that you are not an airhead and help discourage the temptation to pull a fast one or treat you like a bimbo.